This is my older sister Jessica.
She just turned 30 yesterday.
My sister is by the far the most autistic person I have ever met in my 25 years.
She is like a big baby in the sense that she cannot speak, uses diapers, and needs help with very basic tasks such as getting dressed and showering.
Even though I am younger, it took me many years to get use to her.
When we were children, I was jealous. Because of Jessica's special needs, she received most of the attention- from everyone! Mom, teachers, friends. Even just a look of curiosity was one less look my way.
I was also sad, growing up with Jessie. I would have many dreams where she'd suddenly talk to me and be the playmate I needed. Even today, I still get these dreams once in a while, though I have a much deeper understanding of just how special she is!
Mostly though, I was protective. Our roles were reversed because of her autism and I had to act in the place of an older sis. I knew how to change her diaper at a very young age and if anyone stared too long, I would get offended in my own childish way.
There is an even sadder side to this story, which I will blog more indepthly later. Jessica and I also had the added challenge of neglect and eventually were placed in fostercare. Eventually, we had to be separated so she could live in a group home that could better address her needs.
Today, I am her legal guardian. She still lives in a group home and needs just as much assistance as ever.
Sometimes, I still hold on to the hope that she'll just start talking to me one day. But I've accepted who she is.
She is a blessing.
Because of Jessica, I celebrate the little milestones new parents can relate to.
Like when she puts an object in a container as I've instructed her or when she pulls her own pants up after going to the bathroom. I especially celebrate how far she's come in the stable environment of the group home. She now walks to the dinner table all by herself at one vocal beckoning of her caretakers, and leaves the table in the same manner. She makes eye contact more, even if just for a split second. Best of all, she doesn't act out as much- no more watching her bang her head against the wall or try to pull apart her own jaw as she furiously punched her forehead.
I tear up writing that last part.
Only a few close people can really see just how far Jessie has come. If you knew just what this darling angel was delivered from, like I know, you would be witnessing, as I am, a conqueror. She climbed a mountain many assumed she couldn't, including me. And I got to be a part of that because she is my sister. I celebrate because we both made it through and defied statistics not only on autism but also on becoming successful adults despite childhood abuse.
No one should be left behind.
I am forever grateful to everyone who gave a helping hand along the way- and to Jessica's caretakers, who love on her like a daughter. It blesses my heart to see my sister being loved in the way she always should have been.
